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it's been a strange week or so. i'm coming to terms with the whole double knee replacement thing. i am so very nervous about the prospect. i know 80 year old wimmin have these surgeries every day, but fuck, i am 31 and shitscared. last night when my right knee went out, i kind of came to this point, a moment to remember.
from now until the day i have new, healed knees, i will be on crutches.
i think i am slowly making my peace with that. today was spent half in a wheelchair, half on crutches. i prefer the crutches, definately. you can get further by yourself. i am nervous about the way it will feel when i have something man made plastered and screwed into my thighbones. and i am nervous about how it will feel when they eventually wear out. they last 15 years if you are lucky, i hear.
oh my goodness. life is actually really happening to me. it's mental (system survivor).
i am so happy i found ouch.
from now until the day i have new, healed knees, i will be on crutches.
i think i am slowly making my peace with that. today was spent half in a wheelchair, half on crutches. i prefer the crutches, definately. you can get further by yourself. i am nervous about the way it will feel when i have something man made plastered and screwed into my thighbones. and i am nervous about how it will feel when they eventually wear out. they last 15 years if you are lucky, i hear.
oh my goodness. life is actually really happening to me. it's mental (system survivor).
i am so happy i found ouch.
i just had this intense moment of a wonderful memory of being reunited with my amazon sisters earlier this year. i want to share this in words.
we rise:
d is by the fire, she has just swum in the deua river, she is refreshed and alive! b arrives, coming down the hill in all her beauty and strength. she probably is carrying her text machine, which brings us news from the cities around the land. and i am there to remember it.
we plan:
"alana will come with us in the ute", b said.
(she just said i was going with them in the ute)
and so i did.
we go:
d is seated between myself and b. we are piled in like it is a wagon, and we climb the hills and ride the bumps of the road. 26 kms. unsealed. and then you get to town.
we are:
i sit there, with my camera and my hat and my hair everywhere, and i look beside me. there is d. my amazon sister, my dear friend. there is b. my amazon sister, my healer and dear friend. here we are again, i thought to myself. finally, after all of these years. our lives have wound us in a web of connections and understandings and love and respect.
here we are.
we rise:
d is by the fire, she has just swum in the deua river, she is refreshed and alive! b arrives, coming down the hill in all her beauty and strength. she probably is carrying her text machine, which brings us news from the cities around the land. and i am there to remember it.
we plan:
"alana will come with us in the ute", b said.
(she just said i was going with them in the ute)
and so i did.
we go:
d is seated between myself and b. we are piled in like it is a wagon, and we climb the hills and ride the bumps of the road. 26 kms. unsealed. and then you get to town.
we are:
i sit there, with my camera and my hat and my hair everywhere, and i look beside me. there is d. my amazon sister, my dear friend. there is b. my amazon sister, my healer and dear friend. here we are again, i thought to myself. finally, after all of these years. our lives have wound us in a web of connections and understandings and love and respect.
here we are.
