heaven's above

sometimes all you can do is pray for rain.
and remind yourself to not read the past.
because all there is, is now.

silent love. oceans. lands. time. growing.

yellow tigerlilies, a tacky ornate gold mirror on the wall, books about appalachia. a bird book next to me, ancestor mothers on the wall. photographs of old friends, adventures, times. the image of a rusted bath in an overgrown field:
these are fragments of me.

were you ever scared of something you couldn't see? nervous about impending nothings? i'm not sad or depressed. i'm nervous. anxious.
i don't know what  it is.
maybe, all i need is a good rain.