the fear, it's here

late night. bubba is sitting like a chicken on my side. aching. cold spell in melbourne. very very cold.

i got a pain my lung, my right lung. i am just nervous. it's probably nothing, but it's very scary to think that my goddamned fucking methotrexate might be giving pulmonary fibrosis. fuck me. i can't be arsed anymore. i am so tired of all of this.