- RIP Perry DeAngelis, 1963 - 2007, a skeptic of some note. the monkeys have won, perry. You will be missed.
- peace to greece: australia feels your pain. we know of the fires.
- there was a really large huntswoman in our bathroom a couple of nights ago. we both cried like little babies (not really), and got our neighbour to come in an facilitate a removal for us. she performed like a fucking trooper but the spider decided to leave our little meeting. she decided she would have no part of the removal and has moved into the wall. her abdomen was fat. i hope she is not with child(ren). we’ve blocked up all the holes in our rooms, except for a couple of really big ones in the bathroom.
- “kevin - oh - seven - dot - com - au”
- today i did one of those vomits when you are sure you are going to pass out. yeah. too many hard dreams. tired.
I stayed up for 48 hours to try and reset my body clock. I think it worked. Last time it lasted for weeks. During those 48 hours awake I wondered if it was something i’ll need to do every month or so.
It was remarkably exhausting. Bed was like a long lost lover who’s arm’s were like a nearly forgotten home. I dreamed of wild and beautiful things. I stayed warm. I don’t want to leave now.
I just heard from Bear. She’s home at Bear Bottom Bend, the lands that my heart feels closest to. XI is still in the Top End. Bear travelled hard. I think it was exhausting for her. Poor bugger.
So now I will shower and gather myself up and get to this meeting with a client in ye olde Collingwood. After that, i’ll come home and sift through those 191 messages waiting in that fat ol’ inbox of mine. In the meantime, I will soothe an unhappy belly (i’m all nerves all of a sudden? hello? where the fuck did you just come from?) and listen to beautiful sounds on my sexy new Sennheiser’s.
Now It is time to jump in the shower and become clothed. And hopefully calm down somehow.Listen to this podcast
things are good if a little sore.
tonight it rained, today i saw somsom and my sister.
somsom bought me kickarse split enz records and my sister bought herself.
today felt productive.
friendly visits, then lazy therapy, followed by rheumatology clinic at ye olde hospital. afterwards i went to piedemontes and bought hommus and spicy pumpkin dip and came home to suzi and we snuggled warmly on the couch.
sometimes straightforward days are ace.
today was one of them.
Farouk: He say plane fly overhead, drop value. In Beirut, plane fly over, drop bomb. I like these planes.
Darryl Kerrigan: Dale dug a hole. Tell ‘em Dale.
Dale Kerrigan: I dug a hole.
Dale Kerrigan: Mum said it was funny how one day you’re not famous, and the next day you are. Famous. And then you’re not again.
the castle is such a beautiful, beautiful piece of australian cinema.Listen to this podcast
IT JUST WON’T RATE
HE WANT TO GET HIGHER
APPLE ISLE, THE INBRED SMILE
HE’S GONNA GET BYA
HIS MOTHER’S HAND
HE COULD NOT STAND
HE LEFT FOR THE ISLANDS
TO FISH AND HUNT
TO TAKE A PUNT
THE NEW GUINEA HIGHLAND
OH ERROL - I WOULD GIVE
EVERYTHING, JUST TO BE LIKE HIM
HE HAD TO GO
HE’S SAILIN’ THE HIGH SEAS
HOLLYWOOD, CAPTAIN BLOOD
HE’S BILLING THE NAZI’S
TOOK A REBEL STAND
WITH THE CONTRABAND
COAST OF MEXICO
HE WANT TO POUNCE
LIKE AN ANIMAL
TO GIRLS HE JUST CAN’T SAY NO
HE HAD THEM ALL
SCREAMIN’ FOR MORE
HE PLAY THE WILD SCENE
AH SCANDALISE, NO COMPRISE
HE’S DOWN ON HIS KNEES
HE WAS THE KING
THE TOAST OF TINSEL TOWN
THEY BUILD HIM UP
THEY TOOK IT ALL
AND THEY JUST CUT HIM DOWN
Don’t tell me it’s true, i don’t wanna hear about it.Listen to this podcast
punk rock craft fair and fatgirl clothing swap
which rural town would you move to or live in?
why i like tea tree
(edited to add: i think the period after camping is very good.)Listen to this podcast
hello teh internets.
1. can you point me in the direction of any firm scientific evidence to support the healing art of homeopathy?
2. i did my washing! i cleaned my room! small miracles!
3. lots of migraines. they are interesting. i am doing a lot of sleeping. horizontal subconscious exploration of my brain.
4. dreams: lots of water, tides, stairs and tricks. i can do so many tricks!
5. ooooh it’s raining. i keep asking the goddess to bring more, to make it last longer, to bring the sweet smell of winter rain. i am thankful.
6. please: tell me the names of songs that are good to dance to and are happy-making. i am building a songlist for a dis!go me and somsom will run at the gathering next year. so far it’s all scissor sisters and jamiroquai and peaches and goldfrapp. a little beyonce and dsico. am i missing anything? i am so out of my league. help!
i am trying very hard to eat better. getting vitamins in if nothing else. hydrated. fruit. i need to buy my melatonin and get focused on my sleeping. i just want it to keep raining. more rain, more rain. please, please to more rain.
itchy. owls. owls. lots of national geographic magazines. beautiful things can be lovely. that is very unbuddhist. but that’s me. and that is ok!
want to get back in the pool. anyone want to run to the pool with me lots? or even a little? or even once? i am totally in lust with maribyrnong aquatic centre. !zomg it is so my perfect match.
cats are in my room.
my precious heart, noukie, was involved in some sort of accident a few days ago. she is bruised and a little traumatised and sore, but she is ok. i am giving her lots of warmth and soft places to sleep in, and i’ve been asleep for days, and she’s snoozing with me then too. she is my best little friend. precioused bubba nouk. send her your healing love and thoughts. i know that would please her.
i just want to remember how nice it felt.
all of it.
just small moments of wonder and wonderment.
smells. climates. plants. birds. all of the birds. tiger. baby tigers. my sister! a. c. s. m. r. d. t. s. b. s. am i forgetting names? and maeve! and the awesome cripchair i hired for three days. just everyone, all the women and creatures and the plants and the weather and the smells and sounds. it made me very very very happy. i want to thank you.
there is a forceful wind, full of might and it is making one of my teeth hurt. it is crazy wild and it makes me relieved that there is some rain and some real winter finally. it feels like it’s been years… this headline from the age “Great news: it’ll be cold, wet, miserable”; it’s so exciting!
observation: tonight when i was injecting the chemo, the needle was so blunt that i had to roar like “!RAWR” to deal with the pain of it slodging through into my quadricep. i ended up having three entry sites and blood. must research to find out if i can sharpen the needle myself before using it. ok!
and, batrouney.Listen to this podcast
basically this photo conveys everything you need to know. the wombats were completely out of hand, feral and giant and crazed. they tore at our shelter, and stole our food. they also threatened us several times, in large gangs, toting guns and machetes.
this image displays me, fighting for survival at about 2am. i had to defend myself with a blink lightsabre. i barely got out alive. it’s a fucking jungle out there.
forget about giant squid taking over the world, it’s time we worried about the mofo wombats.Listen to this podcast
tomorrow i will be leaving for the bush for a few days.
i’m taking my music, my camera and my tripod and my towel and my tent and sleeping bag. anne is bringing me a futon to sleep on which is pretty awesome. excellent.
i have been asking the goddess for a show of the southern lights while we’reo there. i wonder if she’ll put out? i sure hope so.
steely dan are so fucking smooth it almost hurts. i can’t wait to see them in september. it will take a lot for me to hold myself back and not get all autistic with my excitement. i will be squiggling in the freaking air.
ok. so camping. yay. so so so so good making for my heart. she desires it so much. the air, the light, the sounds, the colours. the scents. the creatures.
i got a bunch of amazing pictures from some awesome friends. they are so fucking great, i don’t know how to explain it. it warms me. it fills me. i have lots of love. lots.
okok: dream programming: must have gentle, friendly, loving-ful and beautiful dreams, ok? you’ve been visiting such awful, sad and nasty places for a while and you need a rest.
LEFTOVER LIST FOR REFERENCE//
food list for camping
- chopping board
- chips and salsa
- smores shit
stuff list for camping
- crip sticks
clothes list for camping
i am really exhausted from a migraine, a possible seizure and a wonderful daytrip to the beach that hatchu and i went on yesterday. the migraine brought with it intense emotion, emotions only of love and strength and knowing and beauty. i have been crying tonight, just from feelings, not sadness nor sorrow.
i think i fractured another joint in my finger yesterday. second finger fracture in 3 months. annoying more than anything else.
i had two awful nightmares today. they were filled with the most dreadful memories. the first involved two people who broke my heart. it was heartbreaking and sad making and frustrating and unexpected. i awoke at 3am and i couldn’t go back to sleep because i was hounded with these feelings of rejection or pain. i don’t know. it was early in the morning, i was half asleep, and had just had a fit. i read a national geographic from 1989 about a family who traveled annually to the south georgia islands. kids on a boat. it was nice. the second dream was way more horrible than the first. my goodness. an old familiar house that haunts me, a horrible horrible disturbed beast who wanted to break my soul to the point of complete control over me and my body. small cupboards that i used for hiding myself in. forced habitat. waking up was so safe. it was such a relief to be away from that world.
soon i’ll make a salad. yum.
i implore you all to listen up about this old, old story: about the gurindji strike.
these people are incredible. their story is incredible and the land itself, it’s unbelievably beautiful, full of spirit, thick of foreverness. so full and so old, it holds everything that exists in the entire universe. everything in that place.
place is everything, ever.
and soon i will need to move on with suzi, to a kinder land that the city. inland. my ideas so far look like this:
for a long time, i needed to be by the sea, but i know that it’s coming in soon, in the next few years, and i just have to wait until then, until the earth has rebalanced herself, it will seem dry. things i consider around this:
- decent elevation above sea level (2.5m+)
- good hospital/medical services (10 minutes by ambulance to nearest hospital)
- electric bike friendly
- queer friendly
- low crime rate
- serviced by broadband capable phone line
hmm. the bells at the nunnery are ringing. and i am hungry.Listen to this podcast
- yvey called tonight at midnight to tell me that jacob had died on sunday night. he was only like a year younger than me. it is so very very sad. he overdosed on alcohol and heroin. funeral/wake in a day or so. living and dying is significant this year.
- the event i made happen was great. we faced fire, i slept under the stars, owls came to visit me, the roos were there everynight. and anah, my goddess. wow. what an amazingly beautiful woman.
- no wind tonight, and it’s fucking hot. cannot sleep thus far. ate corn, tried to sleep outside under a mosquito net but got attacked by an angry mob of ants.
- plans to visit more lands: amazon acres, herland and the mountain, amongst others.
- charles thursday.
- will buy a diary this week.
- suzi is sad that i went bush for a week and came back without my big belly. i didn’t mean for it to happen. i was working real hard on the lands to keep us safe and well fed and warm and energised. going back onto chemo is horrible. it’s much harder once you’ve been off it to go back on it and eat what you’re meant to.
- learning songs in language, entrusted and respected. we are so lucky.
- 1 wedge tailed eagle, a zillion kites, a zillion gang gangs, a zillion sulphur crested cockatoos, king parrots, crimson rosellas, a mob of eastern grey roos, geckos, 1 feral cat, 2 southern boobooks, etc etc.
fuck me, it’s really hot.Listen to this podcast