i am really exhausted from a migraine, a possible seizure and a wonderful daytrip to the beach that hatchu and i went on yesterday. the migraine brought with it intense emotion, emotions only of love and strength and knowing and beauty. i have been crying tonight, just from feelings, not sadness nor sorrow.
i think i fractured another joint in my finger yesterday. second finger fracture in 3 months. annoying more than anything else.
i had two awful nightmares today. they were filled with the most dreadful memories. the first involved two people who broke my heart. it was heartbreaking and sad making and frustrating and unexpected. i awoke at 3am and i couldn’t go back to sleep because i was hounded with these feelings of rejection or pain. i don’t know. it was early in the morning, i was half asleep, and had just had a fit. i read a national geographic from 1989 about a family who traveled annually to the south georgia islands. kids on a boat. it was nice. the second dream was way more horrible than the first. my goodness. an old familiar house that haunts me, a horrible horrible disturbed beast who wanted to break my soul to the point of complete control over me and my body. small cupboards that i used for hiding myself in. forced habitat. waking up was so safe. it was such a relief to be away from that world.
soon i’ll make a salad. yum.